The #MeToo movement caught fire nation-wide with stories of high-profile men accused of violent crimes. Harvey Weinstein quickly became the poster villain, with big names in the entertainment industry to follow. The revolution then spread through every industry as stories unearthed about abusers in organizations of all sizes, in all corners of the country. Now, with increased exposure, the conversation has shifted from household names tied to violent offenses towards the everyday woman and her experiences in the workplace. These conversations have opened even more doors to shed light on abuse women face in every aspect of life, from work to dating.
Here in the Bay Area, people of all ages are busier than ever. Between work, commuting in traffic to get to work, and all of the activities outside of work, it’s easy to feel like you’re always on the go. Even in our “free” time, there’s always a possible activity to keep us occupied, from restaurants to try, bars to hit, festivals, museums, parks, parties - you name it. All of these activities can be exhilarating, and they’re some of the many reasons people love to live in the Bay Area. However, when we spend our time packed with fun and energetic activities, we subject ourselves to a lot of stimuli.
What motivates you to clock into work each day? For some of us, it’s praise and recognition. For others, it’s bigger opportunities. For many, it’s making a positive impact on an industry or issue. And for some, it’s strictly money. Whatever our biggest motivating factors might be, they drive us to work hard each day and often propel us to go above and beyond.
Lies: Everyone tells them. If you don’t, you’re lying.
They range from seemingly-harmless platitudes, like “of course your new haircut looks great, honey,” to deep-seeded, life-altering deceptions.
Regardless of the magnitude of the lies we tell, we all have a conscience that chirps at us, like an imaginary Jiminy Cricket reminding us it’s wrong to do. And no wonder! From birth, we’re told nursery rhymes, proverbs and lessons preaching honesty to be “be the best policy.”
Yet, the truth is we all stretch the truth. So why do we lie? Read on to learn more
Have you ever heard the childhood song lyric “make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold”? It’s a lesson we’re taught in our youth, but it’s perhaps even more pertinent in adulthood.
In my last post, we explored the challenges of maintaining friendships as life progress down different paths at different speeds. Do you simply cut off friends you no longer have common bonds or interests with, or do you stick with relationships out of familiarity or loyalty? The answer can lie somewhere in between, and it differs for every person. Be sure to read the last blog post for recommendations on how you can navigate your longtime friendships, or schedule a therapy session to discuss a more tailored approach. Read on to learn more!
There’s a reason why the term “Bromance” popped up in the past few years. While it’s a humorous word, friendships with other men are seriously significant throughout our lives. True friends know us well, support us through life’s ups and downs, and often shape who we are today.
But sometimes, as our lives progress, we can find ourselves growing apart from certain friends made in previous chapters. Maybe it’s the college buddies you lived with for years bonding over beers and game days, or the high school bandmates you jammed with on school nights, or the childhood friends you chased in the streets of your hometown.
Our priorities, responsibilities, hopes, dreams and desires evolve with each stage of life. And ultimately, we ourselves evolve, too.
The next series of blog posts will focus on the concept of mindfulness and the practice of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness has received a lot of attention lately and for good reason. According to the American Psychological Association, mindfulness meditation has been proven to reduce stress, increase focus and memory, and boost both relationship satisfaction and immune functioning.
The past three posts have outlined how your locus of control affects your dealings with difficult coworkers. Locus of control refers to where you attribute responsibility for actions and your beliefs about your ability to influence those actions. Those with an external locus are met with specific challenges by attributing the source of action outside themselves. For this post, I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of an internal locus of control in coping with a difficult coworker.
Does it make you uncomfortable to say “no” to others? Do you avoid telling them how you feel in hopes that the problem will just go away? Do you feel like you are constantly trying to please other people, but at the end of the day they still seem displeased with you? Maybe there is a boss or coworker who completely overwhelms your ability to act; leaving you feeling miserable and resentful long after the workday is over.
Starting a new job can be rejuvenating and nerve racking at the same time. We can feel unburdened by many of the constraints of our old job. It feels good to leave behind the things we don’t like – routines, projects and people. Along with a host of new duties and challenges come new relationships. These new relationships can provide opportunities for growth and expand out social network.
Our innate curiosities (both morbid and wholesome) have been fundamental to our success as a species. The engine of curiosity has driven the development of every technological innovation from the wheel to the smart phone. Our curiosity has bestowed the rewards (and responsibility) of ever greater control over our own lives and the workings of the planet. It is no surprise that we have started to equate curiosity with control.
In all my many years of practice, the current level of ongoing distress over recent political events I see in my clients is unprecedented. While 9/11 and the ensuing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan offered many challenges to our sense of safety and a reevaluation of how the U.S. is viewed around the world, the threat to our security was experienced as being perpetrated from outside of our own ranks.
The men in my practice often think of therapy for couples as a last resort for a relationship that’s on life support. While that is certainly a time to explore treatment as a couple, I also advise checking out this option well before you’re considering pulling the plug. I treated couples for years and have since stopped to focus solely on men’s health. Nevertheless, I’d like to share some thoughts...