The past three posts have outlined how your locus of control affects your dealings with difficult coworkers. Locus of control refers to where you attribute responsibility for actions and your beliefs about your ability to influence those actions. Those with an external locus are met with specific challenges by attributing the source of action outside themselves. For this post, I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of an internal locus of control in coping with a difficult coworker.
Does it make you uncomfortable to say “no” to others? Do you avoid telling them how you feel in hopes that the problem will just go away? Do you feel like you are constantly trying to please other people, but at the end of the day they still seem displeased with you? Maybe there is a boss or coworker who completely overwhelms your ability to act; leaving you feeling miserable and resentful long after the workday is over.
Starting a new job can be rejuvenating and nerve racking at the same time. We can feel unburdened by many of the constraints of our old job. It feels good to leave behind the things we don’t like – routines, projects and people. Along with a host of new duties and challenges come new relationships. These new relationships can provide opportunities for growth and expand out social network.
Our innate curiosities (both morbid and wholesome) have been fundamental to our success as a species. The engine of curiosity has driven the development of every technological innovation from the wheel to the smart phone. Our curiosity has bestowed the rewards (and responsibility) of ever greater control over our own lives and the workings of the planet. It is no surprise that we have started to equate curiosity with control.
In all my many years of practice, the current level of ongoing distress over recent political events I see in my clients is unprecedented. While 9/11 and the ensuing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan offered many challenges to our sense of safety and a reevaluation of how the U.S. is viewed around the world, the threat to our security was experienced as being perpetrated from outside of our own ranks.
The men in my practice often think of therapy for couples as a last resort for a relationship that’s on life support. While that is certainly a time to explore treatment as a couple, I also advise checking out this option well before you’re considering pulling the plug. I treated couples for years and have since stopped to focus solely on men’s health. Nevertheless, I’d like to share some thoughts...
The number of men living under severe stress has remained at epidemic proportions despite advances in self care over the last generation. It is estimated that 43% of all adults are suffering the adverse health effects of stress including increased risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems and asthma.